Author Archives: Lyn

A Dilemma

I noticed a message on my phone and checked the voice mail.  It was a message from my sister-in-law, Husband’s brother’s wife. Brother’s  Wife and I have been good friends over the years and have gotten closer, as have Other … Continue reading

Posted in Affair, Behavior, Depression, Emotions, Revenge, Secrets | 1 Comment

Inching Towards Normal

I’m surprised.  I am feeling so much better than I was over the past few weeks.  Much better. Yesterday, I was printing out copies when the magenta ran out and I thought Husband had said he’d changed it.  Just at … Continue reading

Posted in Anger, Emotions, Recovering | Leave a comment

Trust

Julieanna says “trust issues can fade.” So can the bad thing that happened, but rehashing the thing over and over and over if you are ready to move past it isn’t maybe always the best thing to do. I agree, … Continue reading

Posted in Betrayal, Recovering, Trust | 4 Comments

Clean-up

Finally came to a peace agreement around noon, Sunday, if you can call it that.  Maybe we were too exhausted to go on.  He was sorry, we talked some more and he eventually came to the conclusion that I misunderstood … Continue reading

Posted in Anger, Depression, Emotions, Fear, Lost Love, Other Woman, Suspicion | Leave a comment

Crashing and Burning

Long, long, long day.  There is a little conflict here on why I don’t feel so well after not knowing where he was for a few hours and he is upset that I have the nerve to be upset and … Continue reading

Posted in Betrayal, Depression, Ego, Fear, Other Woman, Suspicion, Trust | Leave a comment

From Now On?

Someone tweeted, “One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.”  ~ Henry Ward Beecher. I don’t remember who the **** Henry Ward Beecher is, but, really?  Really, Henry Ward Beecher?  Because if I decide to believe this, and I have … Continue reading

Posted in Affair, Anger, Betrayal, Discontent, Emotions, Grief, Our marriage, Reactions, Secrets | 8 Comments

Thanks, Jesse!

Well, Jesse, thanks to your cheatin’ heart, along with the rest of you, we have gotten to the bottom of the mystery of the Why.  Why guys cheat, which Deborah says (in comments) is different than why women cheat, which … Continue reading

Posted in Affairs in the Media, Betrayal, Grief, Jesse James, Sandra Bullock, Why men cheat? | 1 Comment

Sandra Bullock and My Defining Moment

  Well, it’s everywhere, today.  Twitter is awash with incredulous remarks about Jesse James and what a selfish, egotistical moron he is.  Those are my words, the other words used are pretty unappealing, anyway…love Sandra Bullock, have for a long … Continue reading

Posted in Affairs in the Media, Betrayal, Discontent, Jesse James, Sandra Bullock, Twitter, Why men cheat? | 4 Comments

“Number Withheld”

  Yesterday, I heard a strange sound.  An old cell phone my husband stopped using last summer began to ring.  It has a very distinctive ring, so I instantly knew what it was, even though he had “retired” it.  I … Continue reading

Posted in Affair, Anger, Behavior, Betrayal, Emotions, Facebook, Lost Love, Other Woman, Secrets, Suspicion | 3 Comments

Love Hurts

After my Checking-Out-OW’s-Facebook-Meltdown, my friend sash wrote me another one of her awesome letters: I’m sorry it feels so heavy on your shoulders.  Sadly, you ARE the only one that can work through your process.  Whether it’s letting go, grieving, … Continue reading

Posted in Anger, Facebook, Husband, Other Woman | 2 Comments

Her Facebook

It happens every couple of weeks, when things get feeling a little too “back to normal” and it begins to feel like I am doing all of the heavy lifting in marriage recovery.  You know, the reading, the reflection, the … Continue reading

Posted in Affair, Anger, Emotions, Facebook, Lost Love, Opportunity, Other Woman, Our marriage, Reactions, Secrets, Shock | 4 Comments

Why Do I Care?

Why do I care that she is younger than I am?  Dunno.  Just sort of do.  What am I really upset about?  Okay, I’ll tell you. Elizabeth called me the other day to catch up and she mentioned Tiger Woods’ … Continue reading

Posted in Affair, Anger, Discontent, Emotions, Other Woman, Reactions, Step-families | 2 Comments

What’s She Got?

Explanations such as, “By the time I realized it was too late, it was too late”  are not at all helpful and only cause that question mark hanging over my head get bigger and bolder.  Soon, it ought to be … Continue reading

Posted in Affair, Anger, Emotions, Fear, Other Woman, Our marriage | 6 Comments

Shut Up

I love telling my husband to shut up.  I haven’t done it for a while and I only began doing it a couple of years ago and although it violates my long-established philosophy of life to say it?  I get … Continue reading

Posted in Anger, Behavior, Betrayal, Emotions, Other Woman, Reactions, Shock | Leave a comment

Revenge

  On the days reality bites like a cold mackerel across the face, or better yet, the sting of a hard slap on a wet behind and I feel a little hatred for my husband, I tell someone else.  This … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Grief, Revenge, Shock | 6 Comments

From “Friending” to Affair

Men are very different than women, no doubt about that.  Whereas, being happily married has been enough of a deterrent to temptation for myself, never mind any moral arguments, it was not enough for my husband, the same one who … Continue reading

Posted in Facebook, Lost Love, Opportunity, Shock | 15 Comments

Heal or Be Crippled

Writing about painful things is like vomiting poison.  Getting it out is essential. When someone asked me if writing calms me, I thought it over.  For me, language is vivid and powerful, and by expressing it, some emotion is purged.  … Continue reading

Posted in Recovering, Tragic, Trauma | 10 Comments

Fear, An Awful Place to Visit

I’ve been living in fear.  Fear is not a mood, but it’s a true mood-killer.  It’s there like a hellish foundation of all that is horrible and terrifying.  It’s accompanied by dread, something which gives the fear some strength, backbone, … Continue reading

Posted in Anger, Betrayal, Emotions, Fear, Friends, Our marriage, Trauma | 1 Comment

Sad and Suspicious

It’s been a sad two weeks.  A person who made a great impact on my life died. His funeral is today, but I don’t think I am going to put myself through that.  I will just keep in mind that … Continue reading

Posted in Depression, Reactions, Suspicion | 3 Comments

Moods

Moods.  They are all over the place and change so rapidly I’m surprised I don’t have whiplash.  This minute I feel leveled, devastated, sick to my stomach.  Last night, I felt comfortable sitting here on the sofa with my husband … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Reactions, Suspicion | Tagged | 3 Comments

The Promise

He was distressed over the promise he made two months ago.  I asked him to tell someone about the affair.  He asked me what he could do and I told him what I wanted him to do “without discussing it … Continue reading

Posted in Affair, Facebook, Grief, Our marriage, Reactions | Tagged | Leave a comment

He Is Sad, Today

He’s sad, today.  Last night he wanted to hold me and kiss me and be close, but this morning, he was remote. Maybe it was because I brought up something he didn’t want to discuss, namely, some things said during … Continue reading

Posted in Behavior, Reactions | 2 Comments

The Other Shoe

Finally.  I am starting to thaw.  I skipped over a lot of stuff in my mission to get things where they are “supposed” to be without realizing all of the sacrifices I was making.  It occurred to me, yesterday, after … Continue reading

Posted in Affair, Our marriage, Reactions | Leave a comment

The Calm Before The Storm

When to post, what to post?  There were times this week when I felt so victorious over the situation that I wondered if I would have anything to write about, again- delusion.  I thought if we could just get through … Continue reading

Posted in Facebook, Other Woman | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Shock

“Whatever you are thinking about me I deserve,” said my husband, today.  Again. Spent a lot of the day curled up on my side on the bed.  Wish I could pick a mood and stick with it, but once I … Continue reading

Posted in Grief, Reactions, Shock, Tragic | Leave a comment