Category Archives: Recovering

Peggy Vaughan’s work: “Read it all. It’s all you need.”

A comment on “Extramarital Affairs Expert “Dear Peggy” Vaughan has passed.” I read thirty books before I came to Peggy’s. There I stopped. It was all there, no need to go further. As a matter of fact, her rational straightforward and … Continue reading

Posted in Advice, Affair, Anger, Betrayal, Dear Peggy, Extramarital affairs expert, Fear, Grief, Opportunity, Peggy Vaughan, Recovering, Secrets, Suspicion, THE NEW REALITY, Trust, What Would Peggy Say?, Why men cheat? | Tagged | Leave a comment

Husband Speaks

I am Lyn’s husband and I had an affair.  I cheated on my wife.  Depending on where you are in your journey, you might feel that there isn’t anything I could say that would interest you. I would suppose that … Continue reading

Posted in Husband, Love, Men, Offender, Our marriage, Recovering, Trust | 5 Comments

Introduction – You Can Burn His Stuff Later

Letters and answering them have brought to my attention the need for a little guidance when slapped in the face by discovery of an affair.  I was in shock, for weeks, let alone the next day or the first week.  Paralyzed, actually, … Continue reading

Posted in Advice, Behavior, Emotions, Fear, Reactions, Recovering, You Can Burn His Stuff | Tagged , | 6 Comments

Author and Extramarital Affairs Expert, “Dear Peggy” Vaughan Passes

Dear Survivors,      Two days ago, I received an email from James Vaughan, husband of Peggy Vaughan, via Dear Peggy’s mailing list.  Author and extramarital affairs expert linked to from this blog, Peggy passed from this life into the … Continue reading

Posted in Dear Peggy, Extramarital affairs expert, Peggy Vaughan, Recovering, What Would Peggy Say?, Why men cheat?, You Can Burn His Stuff | 3 Comments

Where We Are, What’s Next

I owe an apology to my readers for taking so long to update this blog.  A year and a half since I last posted?  I can’t believe it. Where has the time gone? Gratefully, that time, or precious little of … Continue reading

Posted in Advice, Our marriage, Recovering | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Fifteen Months In

Fifteen months into this unexpected, unwelcome hot mess thrown into my lap.  November and December were pretty rough, I have to admit, with the anniversary of the day of discovery, compolicated by some unrelated health and family issues, December, indeed, … Continue reading

Posted in Recovering | 12 Comments

Coming Home

It’s fitting that I am writing this as I take the train home.  Going home, is by the best of accounts, returning to a place warm and comfortable, feeling joy. The experts say that it takes at least two years … Continue reading

Posted in Forgiving, Recovering | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Recovery Is For Both

Things are painful enough that I decided to go back to The Source, Peggy Vaughan, to see if I could find some help.  Why I didn’t do this sooner?  Who knows, but as I wrote in an email to Peggy, … Continue reading

Posted in Advice, Dear Peggy, Extramarital affairs expert, Peggy Vaughan, Recovering, The Battle, Triggers, What Would Peggy Say? | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

It Takes As Long As It Takes

Someone said that it’s not conflict that’s bad for a relationship, but, unresolved conflict which takes a mighty toll.  I know, now, that’s the bottom line in a previous relationship, even though there were a number of other factors raging at … Continue reading

Posted in Recovering, Triggers | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Not So Fast…

It totally figures.  Finally, you realize that you’re not thinking about What Happened every waking minute or even every other waking minute.  In fact, you can’t quite remember the last time you were even experiencing angst or fury or vengeful … Continue reading

Posted in Behavior, Other Woman, Reactions, Recovering, Trauma | Tagged | 3 Comments

Inching Towards Normal

I’m surprised.  I am feeling so much better than I was over the past few weeks.  Much better. Yesterday, I was printing out copies when the magenta ran out and I thought Husband had said he’d changed it.  Just at … Continue reading

Posted in Anger, Emotions, Recovering | Leave a comment


Julieanna says “trust issues can fade.” So can the bad thing that happened, but rehashing the thing over and over and over if you are ready to move past it isn’t maybe always the best thing to do. I agree, … Continue reading

Posted in Betrayal, Recovering, Trust | 4 Comments

Heal or Be Crippled

Writing about painful things is like vomiting poison.  Getting it out is essential. When someone asked me if writing calms me, I thought it over.  For me, language is vivid and powerful, and by expressing it, some emotion is purged.  … Continue reading

Posted in Recovering, Tragic, Trauma | 10 Comments