Notes From The Wreckage
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Category Archives: Other Woman
“The Need to Know” – Why we need answers to our questions by Peggy Vaughan
When learning of our partner’s affair, most of us feel an intense “need to know” – asking questions to try to make some kind of sense out of what has happened. Read Peggy’s article here, at the Beyond Affairs Network
Posted in "Need to know", Affair, Anger, Dear Peggy, Depression, Discontent, Emotions, Extramarital affairs expert, Fear, Grief, Husband, Men, Offender, Other Woman, Peggy Vaughan, Trauma, What Would Peggy Say?
Tagged "need to know", Answers, Peggy Vaughan, questions
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The Patraeus Affair and Secrets
As the Patraeus affair remains newsworthy, at least, to the moronic media, we, here, at our house have barely mentioned it. We don’t watch much broadcast news, here, at home, although Husband gets more than plenty since he is in … Continue reading
The Odd Bad Day
It’s been so long since I’ve had a bad day that I’ve forgotten when the last one was. I hit a couple of rough patches in June and July, but August was a welcome time of shift in focus and … Continue reading
Posted in Other Woman, Reactions, Triggers
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Coming Home, Part II: The Letter
My husband thought the email was a good idea, and read it when I had finished. At that, I sent it. The day after I sent the email, H. was checking his voicemail at work when he heard her voice. … Continue reading
Posted in Email, Ending the affair, Letter, Other Woman, OW's husband
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Not So Fast…
It totally figures. Finally, you realize that you’re not thinking about What Happened every waking minute or even every other waking minute. In fact, you can’t quite remember the last time you were even experiencing angst or fury or vengeful … Continue reading
Clean-up
Finally came to a peace agreement around noon, Sunday, if you can call it that. Maybe we were too exhausted to go on. He was sorry, we talked some more and he eventually came to the conclusion that I misunderstood … Continue reading
Posted in Anger, Depression, Emotions, Fear, Lost Love, Other Woman, Suspicion
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Crashing and Burning
Long, long, long day. There is a little conflict here on why I don’t feel so well after not knowing where he was for a few hours and he is upset that I have the nerve to be upset and … Continue reading
Posted in Betrayal, Depression, Ego, Fear, Other Woman, Suspicion, Trust
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“Number Withheld”
Yesterday, I heard a strange sound. An old cell phone my husband stopped using last summer began to ring. It has a very distinctive ring, so I instantly knew what it was, even though he had “retired” it. I … Continue reading
Love Hurts
After my Checking-Out-OW’s-Facebook-Meltdown, my friend sash wrote me another one of her awesome letters: I’m sorry it feels so heavy on your shoulders. Sadly, you ARE the only one that can work through your process. Whether it’s letting go, grieving, … Continue reading
Posted in Anger, Facebook, Husband, Other Woman
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Her Facebook
It happens every couple of weeks, when things get feeling a little too “back to normal” and it begins to feel like I am doing all of the heavy lifting in marriage recovery. You know, the reading, the reflection, the … Continue reading
Posted in Affair, Anger, Emotions, Facebook, Lost Love, Opportunity, Other Woman, Our marriage, Reactions, Secrets, Shock
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Why Do I Care?
Why do I care that she is younger than I am? Dunno. Just sort of do. What am I really upset about? Okay, I’ll tell you. Elizabeth called me the other day to catch up and she mentioned Tiger Woods’ … Continue reading
Posted in Affair, Anger, Discontent, Emotions, Other Woman, Reactions, Step-families
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What’s She Got?
Explanations such as, “By the time I realized it was too late, it was too late” are not at all helpful and only cause that question mark hanging over my head get bigger and bolder. Soon, it ought to be … Continue reading
Posted in Affair, Anger, Emotions, Fear, Other Woman, Our marriage
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Shut Up
I love telling my husband to shut up. I haven’t done it for a while and I only began doing it a couple of years ago and although it violates my long-established philosophy of life to say it? I get … Continue reading
Posted in Anger, Behavior, Betrayal, Emotions, Other Woman, Reactions, Shock
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The Calm Before The Storm
When to post, what to post? There were times this week when I felt so victorious over the situation that I wondered if I would have anything to write about, again- delusion. I thought if we could just get through … Continue reading
Brazen
I have a fantasy where I grab the O.W. by the hair and forcefully shave a random pattern through her dark roots with unfettered delight. I imagine she struggles, but can’t break free. I see her in her blue turtleneck … Continue reading
Q and A
“Let me understand this. You had an affair.” “Yes.” “You went to a hotel?” “Yes. She made all of the arrangements.” “You went to a hotel to meet another woman.” “Yes.” “You went to a room and took your clothes … Continue reading
Posted in "Need to know", Affair, Discovery, Facebook, Lost Love, Opportunity, Other Woman, Reactions, Secrets, Shock, THE NEW REALITY, The Reveal
Tagged "need to know", Answers, this is about what I need, uncertainty
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The Lost Love
I sat for a long time, real or imagined, on the sofa. I saw what happened, I heard what happened, but what was happening? I stood up and turned towards our bedroom. My husband was now in the kitchen, ready … Continue reading
Posted in Facebook, Lost Love, Opportunity, Other Woman, Secrets, Shock
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How I Am, Really
“So how are you really?” asks my friend, Jeannie, as she leans in towards me at the restaurant. That is such a difficult question to answer. Aside from feeling occasionally schizophrenic, specifically, several times a day, I mostly feel numb. … Continue reading
Posted in Friends, Other Woman, Revenge, Telling others
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After His Affair 