It happens every couple of weeks, when things get feeling a little too “back to normal” and it begins to feel like I am doing all of the heavy lifting in marriage recovery. You know, the reading, the reflection, the whatever it is I have to do to FIX MYSELF so I am no longer troubled by the permanent memory of my husband throwing his marriage vows “under the bus,” as the OW likes to say.
Anyway. I was annoyed because there has been a distinct lack of effort in a couple of areas and I am trying to be patient waiting to get into the counselor whose list we are on. Not doing so well with triggers, but they call them triggers for a reason.
Okay, I admit it. I went to her Facebook page. I’ve been there, before, and she had a sweet picture of herself with her young son. A wholesome-looking picture. Now she has a picture of herself at some event in a fancy dress displaying cleavage and her wall is out there for all to see.
So, I read through her posts, all the way back to Dec. 12th, which is around the time I discovered the affair with the assistance of her husband. The posts end, there. The posts that are there, however, are totally all about her, how wonderful she is on all of the tests she takes, how normal and fabulous, maybe not in those words, but she is definitely self-congratulatory and dare I say, narcissistic.
Harsh word, but get this: Back when the “courtship” was in bloom, she called him on the phone.
“I’d like to come up for a few days, get a room and make myself available to you.”
This blew my mind, and it also blew his, and even further, she told him she was TELLING HER HUSBAND WHAT SHE WAS GOING TO BE DOING.
That particular plan never materialized, but I believe it blew the door to his conscience off of the hinges and made the step of meeting with her much easier.
Why am I writing about this?
Oh. And she has removed the information that she is married and the link to her husband’s Facebook is gone. She is looking for “friendship.”